On the 22nd of June 2015, I gave in my work laptop, my vest and incessantly-off-the-hook work phone, and said goodbye to colleagues with whom I had been through a lot. We had visited refugees with schizophrenia at home, taken them to GP appointments, gone through safety measures with families of a suicidal family member, spent hours planning and working on community activities, went to endless local and coordination meetings. I said goodbye to being a Mental Health Manager, goodbye to being a Child Psychologist too, goodbye to my life in Lebanon. I can't describe how excited I was to end that chapter and focus all my energy on the next chapter leading to getting married to Ben. He had visited me the October before, caught a glimpse of where I grew up, got a taste of the flavours that comforted me and asked me to be his lifelong partner; excited did not even come close.
We got married on the 15th of August 2015. Even though I couldn't stop crying, I was so happy. It was such a joyful day, made even more special by the many friends and family that travelled from around the globe to be there.
By that time, I had been out of full time work for a few months and I was getting restless. I cleaned way too much and looked online for jobs thinking 'oooh I could do this or that'. God was speaking to me personally about trusting Him for our provision as well as speaking through the Body. They gave me prophetic words that shaped part of the picture to come: I was going to work with international people, the job was going to be through a contact, it was possibly going to be part time, someone was going to be looking and then say 'this is who we've been looking for', that the role would fit me perfectly. I believed it with my whole heart. I believed Him. He was faithful and I could stand on His Word and endless testimonies of His faithfulness.
The problem was: it took a whole year. I did bits of work hours here and there, but kept trusting God for the job that was coming. I applied and applied. At first I was picky, then I applied for anything. Nothing came, not even a single interview. I confessed that I was trusting God and sometimes would be fine but other times I would question what I was doing wrong. Why did no one want me? Was I not even good enough for a mere interview? Lies and doubts would come, especially after a rejection letter. I kept applying but was no longer excited.
One Sunday, Prophet Graham spoke on belief. He said 'some of you have stopped believing God for something He had promised'. It hit me with the Holy Spirit's conviction: with all the rejection, a wall of protection came up inside me and I no longer believed it was going to happen. I confessed that and declared again He was true to His word.
It was like a tap had been turned on full blast. At first I got a call from a recruitment agency, then emails from universities in Coventry, Birmingham, and Manchester. I even got a call from Lebanon from a school I had given my CV to 2 years ago asking whether I was available!
Then I got an email from a friend of my cousin's saying there's a vacancy at her organisation. The vacancy was with Syrian refugees, a similar sort of field as my work in Lebanon. I got an interview but didn't feel I did my best. God gave me favour with them though. They offered me the job and I've been working there for a month now. I'm in a place where I can use my skills and gifts, I can use my mother tongue, I can help people but also be creative and come up with activities.
God sometimes gives a promise then cuts out all avenues of it getting fulfilled. It seems like it's not going to happen. It's in this time that faith with patience works. He is faithful and true to His Word. He fulfils His promises at the right time. I give Him all the glory.